Capo 5
You've [C]got to look your best tonight
You [Am7]tubby little parasite
'Cause [F]there's a lovely lady and she's [Fm]waiting for you
And [C]though her pretty face may seem
A [Am7]special person's wettest dream
Be[F]fore you get to see it there are [Fm]things you must [G]do
We'll [F]try a [Fm]tie and [Em]boutonniere of [Am]yellow
Or a [F]rose that [Fm]shows that [Em]you're a classy [Am]fellow
With the [F]posh pa[Fm]nache of [Em]Jefferson at [A7]Monticello
[Dm7]Busting out a [G7]mile with style
I [C]know you just can't wait to stare
At [Am7]all that luscious orange hair
But, [F]boy, before you touch a single [Fm]curl
You [Em]must impress that ultra bloomin'
[Am]All-consumin', [A7]poorly groomin'
[Dm7]Down's [G7]Syndrome [C]girl
On [C]any normal day you reek
As [Am7]if you're on a farting streak
Your [F]finger's up your
nose and you are [Fm]dripping with [G]drool
But [C]if you want a lady's love
You're [Am7]better off by smelling of
A [F]gentleman's cologne instead of [Fm]sneakers and [G]stool
A [F]squirt, a [Fm]spurt
Of [Em]something just for [Am]Ellen
And you'll [F]see, that [Fm]she
Will [Em]find you so [Am]compellin'
And she [F]does, be[Fm]cause
The [Em]only smell that [A7]she'll be smellin'
[Dm7]Won't be coming [G7]from your bum
You [C]wanna take that little whore
And [Am7]spin her on the dancing floor,
But [F]boy, before you do a single [Fm]twirl
You [Em]must impress that effervescing,
[Am]Self-possessing, [A7]no BS-ing
[Dm7]Down's [G7]Syndrome [C]girl
Her [C]eyes are emerald [Am7]portals
To a [Em]secret land of [Fm]love
And her [C]smile is like the [Am7]sweetest summer [Em]flower
Her [C]kiss is so in[Am7]viting
And her [Em]hugs are so de[Fm]lighting
And what makes [F]them really [G]nice
Is that they've [Em]got a little [Am]spice,
Because they're [F]tighter than a [G]vise
And they go [C]on for an [C7]hour
My [C]boy, between the two of us,
We'll [Am7]get you on that shorty bus
And [F]then you're gonna take it for a [Fm]whirl.
Now [F]go impress that [Fm]super-thrilling,
[Em]Wish-fulfilling, [A7]Yoo-Hoo spilling,
[F]Ultra-swinging, [Fm]boner-bringing,
[Em]Gaily singing, [A7]dingalinging,
[F]Stupefying, [Fm]fortifying,
[Em]As of Monday, [A7]shoelace tying,
[F]Stimulating, [Fm]titillating,
[Em]Kitty-cat im[A7]personating,
[F]Mega-rocking, [Fm]pillow-talking,
[Em]Just a little [A7]crooked walking,
[F]Coyly pouting, [Fm]booby-sprouting,
[Em]For some reason [A7]always shouting,
[F]Fascinating, [Fm]captivating,
[Em]Happiness and joy [A7]creating...
[F]Down's [G]Syndrome [C]Girl!