I bear [C]lots of animosity to bell hops,
They [F]never bring my luggage up on [Dm]time.
And [G]taxi drivers really tax my [A7]patience,
If they [Dm]vanished, would it really be a[G] crime?
I don't like [C]meter maids or underwater welders,
[F]Health fanatic cooks, or camera [Dm]crews!
Not fond of [G]monks or yoga teachers, or [A7]sports fans in the bleachers,
And I'm [Dm]not sure how I'm [G]feeling about [C]you!
There are [Am]lots of horrid [E7]people on this [Am]planet,
That [Dm]I would love to give a lashing [G]to,
But my [C]goody two-shoes brother, the [F]favorite of my mother,
Is the [Dm]one I want to smother In a [G]ton of pigeon [C]goo!
Yes, my [C]goody-two shoes brother, the [Am]favorite of my mother,
He's the [F]one I want to smother, thank you [C]sir, I'll have a[A7]nother!
He's the [Dm]one I want to [G]smother, in a [Dm]ton of [G]pigeon [C]goo!